The Magic of Walmart

A very sleepy hello to all of you out there in Readerland. Yes, once again, I find myself on the short end of the sleep stick (which, by the by, doubles as an ugly stick around here – I am definitely not a man who can afford to miss his beauty sleep.) But this time, I cannot lay all the blame on Annaliese; it was her who had me up at 5 am, though. I must own up to my own foibles. I stayed up late playing on the computer.

Way back in high school, I was introduced to a game called Magic: The Gathering. Not familiar with that particular animal? The game can aptly be described as a roll-playing card game (you know the type, draw a card, play a spell, send your newly summoned monster off to ravage your opponent.) I recently found that I can play online. What’s that Randy? Well, yes, I guess it is kind of similar to your favorite game, Pokemon.

In a semi-related story, I had to go to Walmart at 1 am to buy more baby food powder stuff. Annaliese is on a ‘special’ formula that has two extra calories per ml, which makes a small can an appalling $15! If you’ve ever been to a Walmart, you probably realize that it is sectioned off into tiny areas, each designed to lure and trap a very specific breed of customer. There’s the electronics section, which baits most of the male species. There’s a small book section to entice the avid reader and the jewelry/watch section which successfully draws the attention of those who like shiny objects. (Did I miss the section created just for you? Please add it in the comments!)

Then there is my section, just one small aisle hidden amidst endless rows of cashiers and candy bars. I often find myself being drawn into this tiny cove, staring at products I don’t need, but find myself wanting ooh so badly. It is the baseball card and gaming card section. My mind fleets back to my childhood, the excitement of finding my favorite player in a mint pack. I think back to the anticipation I often felt during my high school years while opening a pack of Magic cards; what rare and special card would I find?

Usually, those nostalgic thoughts are fought equally strong by a sense of temperament, of frugality, but not on this time. In the wee hours of the morning, long deprived of sleep, the intoxication of the aisle proved to be too much. I caved and bought a pack.

Out in the car, I greedily fumbled with the packaging, eventually winning the struggle. The first card I saw . . . a land card. Not sure what that means? Remember back to the last time you got a greeting card in which you knew there was going to be some money. The card itself is necessary, but mostly unwanted. That’s what land cards are. The second card was equally disappointing (a token creature card, if you care), and was followed by a card that is uncommon, yet not of interest to me.

But one look at the fourth card had erased all memory of the first three and all care for those that remained. It was a Birds of Paradise, (read fast, not stopping to take a breath) a one casting cost green creature with a 0/1 power and toughness, flying and the ability to produce one mana of any color! (Do I sound nerdy? You should hear the conversations at a card shop!)

Do I really have a point? No. But I do know that this will make my future struggles with the card aisle just that much harder. Perhaps the pack I have my eye on will contain an Elvish Archdruid. What if it does and I don’t buy it? Will my life ever be the same? Fortunately, I know life will go on and can ease my half open wallet back into my pocket. But just in case . . .