Global Warming

Does anybody else remember two or three summers ago? The mercury was soaring, the pavement was boiling, hurricanes were aplenty, (wow, that’s a word! MS Word even offers some synonyms for it – copiously, abundantly, in great quantities – keep an eye out for my future blog on synonyms!) and everybody was screaming, “It’s global warming!!!” I didn’t panic then and I’m certainly panicking today! I woke up to a report of “mostly sunny and 50°.” Where’s your global warming now!

First, let me say that I’m not going to argue that we won’t eventually drive ourselves off this tiny rock we call home. I’m just not sold on the global warming thing. Everybody is so quick to look at their immediate surroundings and find long-term conclusions based on their observations. Hey, look, the temperature has changed a little over the last 50 years . . . we’re tearing the planet apart – everybody stop breathing! Never mind the fact that the world has gone through more drastic changes over thousands of years. Haven’t the poles switched once or twice? How do you think the mainstream media would react to that? My theory . . . this is a mostly natural variation in the Earth’s temperature, or more bluntly, it’s the tail end of the most recent ice age.

But what if it is true? What if the polar caps are going to disappear and the seas will rise. Apart from the loss of the polar bear, will anything truly terrible happen? I mean, is anyone really going to miss New York and Los Angeles?

So I will continue to live in my own little bubble, well above sea level and free from fear of the imminent demise of our planet. Of course, I will always continue to fear some much more reasonable things; packs of wild lions roaming the city, mutant machines enslaving the entire population and of course, bioterrorism. (Rob Burns once warned me he found anthrax on his shredded wheat!!!!!)