Hostage

I cannot imagine what it would be like to give a child up for adoption!

We left the hospital yesterday. Well, I say we, but what I mean is Mollie, Andrew and I; Annaliese had to stay. She’s not there because she is unwell, but mostly because she is small. Still, we had to leave her, go home, and act for a while as if she was not part of our family. That may be too harsh an explanation. Perhaps it would be better to say that we have to function as a family, knowing that if she were here, everything would be different. How could someone ever permanently give their child away; how could they live like this forever?

So I find myself this morning trying to walk that fine line between the snooze button and getting up early enough to accomplish everything I want to do before work. I know what my routine requires, but I have to guess at the time it will take to drive across town to the hospital, spend enough time with the baby girl so that I don’t feel like I am abandoning her, and still make it to work on time.

Thankfully, work allows that I only have to do this twice a week. Hopefully, I only have to do for one week before the full definition of ‘we’ can come home.